7/07/2006

People are just about as happy
as they make up their minds to be

Hokay.

I, am very wierd. Haha, just got reminded of Mr. Richmond's assembly some time ago. That was the way he started it. It was THE best assembly ever. He was so sweet and sincere and all that, he was even tearing half way through. He told us that ultimately, the hardest thing we would ever have to do would be to ask for help when we needed it. Effectively, I think he was trying to tell us not to repeat the same mistakes he did - if he'd asked for help back when he was our age (which wasn't very long ago by the way), things would've been much easier. & I think he's right.

2 weeks of sec3 left. I'm terrified. I'm so afraid of what next year's going to hold. I'm so afraid of what the future's going to bring. There're going to be so many changes next year, be it in school or among friends or.. within family. I'm not amazing with words & I've got no idea how to say what I feel. But I'm terrified. Ms. Selway was right, it's all mental. She said that I've got to believe in myself in order to reach that note. Singing was once my forte, it isn't now. But then her words got me thinking and I realised that there's so much that I'm really not sure of, so much I've been unaware of. I haven't really been listenning to myself speak and I've had no idea of how much I really need to understand about myself, everyone else around me and the society I (currently) live in.

Sometimes I try my best but I still don't get what I want to get no matter whether it's academically, in hockey or something else. Maybe that's why it frustrates me so much when I see people sitting there complaining about something when they really had all the time in the world before to do something about whatever they are complaining about. I get so annoyed when I KNOW that someone can do something but just hasn't been able to do it cos he/she hasn't bothered to make an effort. Haha, I've really got no idea why I get so frustrated. It just happens. But actually, it makes me very much a hypocrite cos I do it too sometimes. Still, please don't sit on your bum wishing you did something or wishing you were something else cos that isn't going to help. Get up and do something about it la. Ughh.

& I get so annoyed at how passive you can be. To be honest, I don't believe that anyone can really be so unpassionate about life. Rahhgh fish. I've wanted to say this to you for a long time even though I think I just might be the only one to think this way. & you might not even read this. Everyone else seems to accept you. But I think I've learnt that you can never really just take whatever's on the surface, can you. And I feel like such a horrible person. Sometimes I think that you're a good friend, one that I really can't lose. Then I think about how I can't really accept all of who you are and that makes me feel two-faced and a horrible friend.

I also can't resist adding how disappointed I am in you though I really don't have a reason to be. I don't think anyone else would do it either anyway.

Maybe I should be sitting & counting my lucky stars or something cos one fine day a few years down the road, I'll look back at this and probably laugh my ass off at my immaturity.

I must say, this is the first time I realise just how many layers there are to you and to everyone else. Can't wait to go home.

& there're just two more lessons before we have to say goodbye to Mr. Bracken, a teacher who made SUCH a difference. The teacher who might be taking over our class might have more experience and all that junk, but no way does she have the same compassion. Or tack. No way will her lessons be more interesting or fun. Two quotes. (Supplied by Katherine)

"Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do."
- Shaquille ONeal

"Tell me and I'll forget; show me and I may remember; involve me and I'll understand."

The two above summarise him + his lessons perfectly. Gosh, I/we are so gonna miss seeing him & Mr. Knight wandering around together and the history department's not going to be the same >> Ms. Beaty's the only one staying after all. Ughh. Gonna miss seeing them playing tennis/netball/whatever else. haha. I'll miss this jolly department.

& I heard Mrs. Sushilla's left SN as well? Fishhhhhhhh. I don't think she remembers me but I won't forget her. She was wonderful.

-

As you can see, this has been a very random entry as a result of a very ------- day. I've got no idea how to describe it. BUT, last canoeing session today was the BEST THING EVER.

&& I can't wait till tomorrow morning. APPOINTMENT with Estee at 11am GMT & 6/7pm Sg time. It's time to get highhh (:

Oh yes, one of my guinea pigs is pregnant.

:D
9:29 PM